“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
“I don’t think that making movies is my entire life. But there’s one thing, you know, that I hate more than not being taken seriously, is to be taken too seriously.”
“An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark – that is critical genius.”
“Marilyn was mean. Terribly mean. The meanest woman I have ever met around this town. I have never met anybody as mean as Marilyn Monroe or as utterly fabulous on the screen.”
“Breasts like Granite and a brain like Swiss Cheese.”
“Anyone who doesn’t believe in miracles isn’t a realist.”
“My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.”
“A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don’t bury our dead. When you think it’s out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, “My father is an idiot.”
“[asked if it was important for a director to know how to write] No, but it helps if he knows how to read.”
“The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Adolf Hitler was a German and Ludwig van Beethoven an Austrian.”
[daqui]
